Four simple words that made the difference between racing down the path of relationship disaster or moving forward down the long dirt road of marriage. That’s what it took. It was over 3 years ago that I received this wonderful gift from my wife. I’ll never forget opening the present and seeing a blank slate picture frame that said “I love you because…” with a small infinity symbol of love on the bottom right corner. To be honest, I remember thinking “I don’t get it.” “She gave me a picture frame for what?”…….say something quick I thought in my head……”I love it. It’s a cool frame!”
She said “You don’t know what it’s for do you?”
“Nope.” I said “Not a damn idea.”
She then went on to tell me she found the idea on Pinterest and thought it was “neat for us.” Since I was leaving to work early every day and going to school after and she didn’t want to talk to me via text message only. She thought it would be a good place for us to fill it out when we were not around each other, as a way to show each other we were thinking about the other. Now for some of you that don’t know my wife…..I introduce…..the secret behind my success. My wife Jenny.
Strong, honest, caring, loving, supportive, generous, #ourrock, intelligent….there isn’t enough space or time to be able to explain the different levels that Jenny is on. She is amazing. She has shown me what it’s like to be fearless and loving to no end. I’d give my life for her. Maybe like an idiot I don’t tell her enough but now she knows it. I’ve forever cemented it in the cosmos of our digital world.
When we started this adventure of life and marriage we were both in our early 20’s. No kids, nothing holding us down. Quickly we started to achieve the day to day success and failures that come with marriage, children and being a professional. It’s hard sometimes. It’s boring sometimes. Ok it’s damn right exhausting. This was our life. We were achieving our goals but not our dreams. Kind of stuck in a rut. Well along with that rut came minimal communication and low levels of togetherness. We had very little family around us so we looked towards our friends which I coined “The Village.” You know the group of people that keep us sane in this life.
You see, this is what happens in relationships. Not just marriage. I’ve seen it in business and I’ve seen it in friends. Life gets in the way and then you stop the communication. This is the secret. This is what made her buy this for us. She knew since we couldn’t speak to each other all the time (mostly because of me) there had to be another way to get it done. There had to be another way for us to show each other that we still loved each other, still cared for each other and still thought about each other more than just being around each other. This was the way.
I Love You Because….
Did I tell you she was smart? Shhhh….Don’t tell her I told you that, she is intuitive as well. I have another secret……for the past eleven years we have not fought. We have had a minor bicker or spat but never an all out yelling match. I know this is an achievement in itself by the books and articles that I read that basically say “you must fight for what you believe and love.” That is one score I always mark as against us. I’m serious. We don’t fight. We don’t fight because we communicate. We enjoy each others company, we laugh, we respect life, we share emotions with each other. Which was hard for me because I wasn’t raised to “share emotions.” At least not the way that Jenny and I do.
You can tell, I appreciate her as well. She has given me more in this life than one person ever deserves. I am forever grateful for that. Even though it has been three years since I received this beautiful gift, we still fill it out. When we started, it was everyday, now it’s more like weekly. This is ok though, because we understand each others “love language” she knows what I need and I try my hardest to pay attention to what she needs. We fail sometimes but we help each other get back up.
Like I said before I’ve not only seen it in marriage, but in business and in friendships. Life is the journey, not the destination. In my eyes if all of our destinations are the same, then why would we allow ourselves to live in a chaotic journey? This is what I mean when I post #youbetterbeliving our destination is the same, there is not one person that can beat that. If you want to figure out a better journey, carry the secret of communication. Find the strength within you to figure it out, talk it out and make it happen. I’ll leave you with the lyrics from Jason Mraz’s hit song I’m Yours:
“Well, open up your mind and see like me,
Open up your plans and damn you’re free.
Look into your heart and you’ll find that the sky is yours.
So please don’t, please don’t, please don’t…
There’s no need to complicate.
‘Cause our time is short.
This oh, this oh, this is our fate.
To Jenny: “I love you because….I can see your beauty even with my eyes closed.”